The 54th Deadline: Chase

The 54th Deadline: Chase


“Certain days make me think I am in an ongoing chase without an end in sight.”

Having a goal to chase after is important. However, sometimes I feel like I am running on a perpetual treadmill that won’t stop. And this means I am nowhere close to reaching checkpoints that I should have reached by now.

But that’s the thing. In terms of progress, I am definitely making some strides. I obviously don’t think I have accomplished enough at this stage in the game, but I certainly have completed particular goals I had on the agenda throughout the past year.

Getting a job.

Getting a car.

Establishing a sense of independence.

All of this and more. Each of these, respectively, should be considered achievements for someone like me. A lot of these things may not appear that monumental at face value, but believe me – I am much better because I have this stuff to my name. By miles.

I think having goals to chase after is beneficial because it gives you that sense of direction. You aren’t just meandering through life and ending up at specific spots randomly. In a sense, to chase after the right goal at the right time drastically improves the odds things will turn out all right if not wonderful.

And then we start going into comparisons.

And when it comes to comparisons, we all can feel a bit envy or grateful, depending on the perspective and context.

A few years back, I found myself usually feeling jealous of others. I felt like a loser because I was not at point (x) when my (former) friends and peers were already many steps ahead. I grew bitter and insecure, gradually turning into an emotional mess.

To call me unstable would not have been an understatement. Feeling like I hit rock bottom, just the mere thought of it, weighed me down. I anchored myself, preventing any form of progress for so many years as a major consequence. 

I was a lost soul. Left behind in many respects. But I survived. Despite all of the abandonment issues I built up at the time, I managed to keep going.

anime girl with car reading map.jpeg

Even when the going gets tough, you just have to keep searching. You just have to resume the chase.

It is generic advice.

It is no secret.

You just have to continue.

If you don’t continue, you never will see if you end up finally getting your hands on what you have been pursing since the beginning.

Of course, I wish we all could magically end up with a map or cheat sheet to tell us where we need to go to find what we are looking for, especially in regards to the seemingly elusive stuff.

In addition, I do wonder if I am perhaps chasing after too much. I have been getting second thoughts about various elements about what my long-term goals are and how I will go about in making them a reality.

On one hand, going after a lot of things at once offers the possibility of winning big. You could knock out a lot of goals simultaneously, at least in theory. Conversely, in a realistic sense, to go after too much at once is a tall order.

Can it be done?

I have been feeling very ambitious over the years. A lot of it stems from me feeling better about my circumstances and myself as a whole. I traded in a lot of the sadness and unwanted feelings for more gumption.

Ultimately, I crave success. I yearn to attain it with everything I got when I can do what needs to be done.

I think, for now anyway, I just have to resume chasing. Maybe something will eventually end up close enough for me to grab ahold of… Finally.

“Complete the process.” – Nhan Fiction


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