The 54th Deadline: Running Out of Time to Leap

I can’t keep doing this. I don’t have the luxury of waiting. The more I let time passes, the worst it all feels. I hate looking outside of my box and seeing everyone else moving forward, advancing to the next stage in life and even thriving in some cases.

Me? I am stuck. I have been stuck.

Well, namely physically, emotionally and psychologically. Quite the triple threat, don’t you think? Part of the problem is I am too smart for my own.

By smart, I mean I am just too aware of it all. By knowing that things are off, it creates more pressure, which exasperates the issues even further. Each day, I feel like something is just whittling away at me.

I haven’t felt well for a while. I keep getting hints from life that I will be “punished” for thinking I can just dink around while progress can be made.

Life is right. I have been taking it too easy. It’s not like this is the summer vacation for me as a kid. I am supposed to be an adult. A full-grown adult.

Only Rest for the Weary

Without beating around the bush, I think I have been too lax. When I have time to work on my future, I get sidetracked. It is nicer to take it easy, but it won’t get me where I want to be at the same time… At least, not by itself.

A saying I have been saying to myself that I just came up the other day while shopping rings true: “If you have time to rest, then you have time to become your best.”

We all need to unwind. We all need to catch our breath from time to time. Who works 24/7? Will it kill me to watch a Netflix show or just play some video games?

Alas, I also think it’s because I have grown even weaker over the years in many ways. It’s an awkward tradeoff for me. I used to be so darn tenacious. I used to be remarkably resilient. Perhaps age is catching up to me, and I am not even that old yet by any means.

I just feel so crappy about my situation. I drone on and on about not feeling like I can get to where I need to be. I know the solution, but yet I am not following through on the plan of attack that would improve my odds of success.

It’s all so infuriating. I have not given up. I can’t concede all of the progress I have made up to this point.

I need to think of myself on a constant time limit. I just can’t stand here looking ahead of me, contemplating whether I need to make that leap or not. It’s a do-or-die scenario.

To jump? To stand still? Either way, life isn’t going to wait…

Time is limited. I need to make every moment count as much as possible…

“Progress is perseverance.” – Nhan Pham

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Also published on Medium.

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