The 54th Deadline: Regardless of failure or success, you learn. Life grants people so many chances to get it right.
“Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering.” – Dalai Lama
Isolating yourself on an island of your own emotions gets tiresome at times. You never know what festers when you stay there too long. All by yourself. Feeling the worst of it. For an extended period of time.
During what I call the most pathetic time of my life, that particular year and a half, I felt like a complete failure. No motivation. Disappearing drive. The universe dashed my hopes. Or so it seemed.
So I remained on that island of misery and woes. That year and a half will never leave me. I will never forget it.
I don’t want to go back there. Ever again.
Escaping the Island
Recently, I feel like I am returning to that particular island again. Slowly but surely. It scares me. I don’t want to be there again. I hated feeling so helpless. Stricken with fear. Unable to do anything on your own.
So what did I do? I struggled. I suffered. I let a lot of sad, toxic thoughts consume my mindset for far too long.
I let it all get to me. I took so much damage. Some damage I question if I can ever recover from at any point.
But I digress. That happened. It occurred. What more can I say? I have to learn from it.
Seven years and counting. I want to believe fate has something in store for me.
I just have to keep persisting. Stubbornly if I must.
Someday, this will all make sense.
“Hope is my catalyst.” – Nhan Pham
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Also published on Medium.