The 54th Deadline: Regardless of failure or success, you learn. Life grants people so many chances to get it right.
I am in need of a reboot. Again.
I do not want to keep feeling like this for even another month, let alone a few more years. This feeling keeps lingering. It is like I am just a prisoner of my own mind. I want to escape this personal hell already! I thought I would start by now, honestly.
But here I am. Time is fleeting. It just slips through my hands. Before I know it – zip. It’s already a week. The days just keep coming by faster and faster, but it is not something I like at the moment.
I just don’t feel as productive as I should be. This is where it hurts. In my mind, I know I need to do something to stabilize. The plane is going downward, and either I get ahold of myself, or I will CRASH and burn.
No, not now. Not yet! I still have so much I want to do! Places to see! Everything else in between on top of that!
Who is in Control?
There is just so much instability for me in all kinds of ways. I am not eating right, sleeping well and I just have such an erratic schedule.
Also, I am just not completely happy where I am right now in so many ways. Being discontent just makes me extra bitter about it all.
But on this same note, life could be worse. I could be homeless. I could be dying. I could be already dead by now.
Ugh, a reboot would be so nice. Something is seriously irking me. I just have not felt “right” for a while now. I try to BS it day in and day out, but I don’t know how long I can keep up this facade before something really cracks.
I keep wanting to “hide” from my problems, but this won’t solve anything. Logic dictates that I just get some kind of major wake-up call to take my life to the next stage.
Where is it? Who is in control? Can I still get that reboot?!
“Hope is my catalyst.” – Nhan Pham
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Also published on Medium.